(Source: yuripleskunforlife, via jinx-ogden)

thisiskid:

The last apple I ate was almost rotten it was nasty. I threw up for days afterwords. 

Poor baby. Well, my apples are the best in the land, I promise. 

thisiskid:

/catches apple and bites into it/ hmmmm this is actually not to bad. 

-Quirks a brow- Yeah, I know. Apples are the shit, compadre. 

thisiskid:

Leading me on! But yes I am hungry. Gimme.

You know it, mrow. Here, I’ll go get them. -Leaves, and then comes back with apples. Tosses one over- Enjoy. 

thisiskid:

You know I was never good with reading between the lines.

C’mon then, let’s get those apples. And by that, I mean let’s go make out. And by that I mean are you fucking hungry or not, because I cherish my apples and will only give you them if you need them. 

thisiskid:

Oooo so apples are code for sex. I gotcha I gotcha. 

Yup. This entire time, “apples” has really meant “I want you in my pants”. 

thisiskid:

Well if that’s all you were trying to do from the beginning, you could of just asked. I would of had no problem honoring your wishes /grins/

Spot-on! Say, why don’t we just go and have sex. Right now. Jesus, Kid. You want them apples or not?

thisiskid: 

Oooo are you inviting me to your bedroom. /wiggles eyebrows/

Yes, that’s exactly what I’m doing. Luring you in to my quarters so that I can ravish you upon my bed. Knuckle-head. 

thisiskid: 

Can I have one???

Sure thing, darlin’. I’ll get ‘em, they’re in my room.